St Margaret's Church Prestwich

ALM Andrew gave this address at the funeral of our dear friend Joan Lane at her funeral on 7 June 2023. Here it is for you again:

Although a funeral is seen by many as a sad occasion, and for Joan’s direct family I’m sure it is and they will miss Joan immensely, we are also here today to celebrate Joan’s life and many achievements.

Joan certainly lived a long and very full life -a life well lived! Last Monday would have been her 92^nd Birthday and in the picture Jackie so carefully painted of Joan’s personality in her Eulogy, were she still here she would most definitely have been the life and sole of her own party. Joan as Jackie has portrayed would have been singing and dancing; would have had that joyous smile on her face and glint in her eye and most definitely would have been eating cake!

But who was Joan and what was the essence of her being?

Joan was a great people person. She had a deep love for her family and especially for her dear departed husband Brian. She had a tremendous capacity to nurture and encourage others and will be remembered for her energy, commitment and welcoming smile. She had many, many friends with whom she formed deep and lasting friendships and I’m sure all of you present today will hold your own special memories and recollections of Joan.

Central to Joan’s being was her Christian faith which permeated every aspect of her life. As a child in her formative years Joan attended Sunday School at St Paul’s, Pendleton where the grounding of her Christian faith was taught and learned.  As an adult Joan lived and breathed her Christian way of life. She deeply loved and cherished what she referred to as her “beautiful church” here at St Margaret’s where Joan was a very regular attender at both the Sunday and Wednesday Eucharist services. Receiving the Sacraments was very important to Joan which she continued to do in the care homes where she lived during her final months.

But Joan’s involvement with the Church was not just linked to twice weekly attendances. At Easter for example she would wherever possible attend daily Stations of the Cross, be present at Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Eve and of course the great celebratory Easter Day services. Her social life was bound up with church activities. She was the Chair of the Social Committee for many years and co-ordinated many and various social functions and occasions. Her longstanding friend Marion who could not be here today due to her own frailty, but is here in spirit, spoke of Joan running the bottle stall in her own inimitable way at the Christmas Fairs; of much-loved holidays in Llandudno and of plays and musicals conducted by the late Peter Edwards. Joan was also a committed member of the Mother’s Union at which she formed many close and long-lasting friendships; and enjoyed meals out with her “girls”. Latterly she also became a member of the Women’s Institute. Her spiritual life was stimulated and deepened by retreats to Parcevall Hall in Yorkshire where she drank in the peace, tranquillity and beauty of the hall and gardens; along with the odd glass of gin. She was also a visitor to Walsingham in Norfolk where she went on pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Walsingham often with her beloved pastor and friend Fr Martin Ashworth and on occasions with Fr Croft and friends from St Hilda’s Church and her friend Tina.

Joan was most definitely an advocate of the “More than a Sunday” campaign.

Joan’s daily life was bound up with the rich and varied liturgy, services and seasons of the Church of England which enabled her to experience the love of God in Jesus Christ and in the life and power of the Holy Spirit. St Paul in his letter to the Galatians speaks of nine characteristics of a person who lives by the Spirit of God. These are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control. Those of us who knew Joan well I am sure would vouch that she had many, if not all of these attributes.

Joan was someone who saw her life as a journey – a journey of faith. It can be said that a successful life is not one where you have achieved more than others but one where you feel satisfied with what you have achieved. Joan was someone who learned to enjoy the journey, who celebrated each achievement she accomplished and was contented and generous to others, had a heart of gold and shared her blessings. Joan was not an academic. Her many skills were honed in the furnace of life. She was renowned for taking fledgling and established clergy under her wing like a mother goose and encouraging and befriending them. Her “Sunday Roasts” were well known and consumed with passion and gratitude by all who were welcomed to her table. Joan was not a “wealthy” person financially but her life was rich in many ways and she liked quality. She was very selective about where her meats were purchased; as many of her friends will know; and her love of Marks and Spencers (and other retailers are available) was well known. I am certain that if St Michael were on duty at the gates of Heaven then on purchases alone Joan would most definitely receive her entrance ticket.

Joan’s generosity not only extended to people. On the death of her very dear friend Fr Nicholas who lived in Carlisle and who was like a son to Joan; she willingly took on board the care of his dog Moses which she cared for and supported until it died.

One of Joan’s achievements was one I personally had a hand in facilitating. When visiting her at home on one occasion she informed me it had been a very long held desire of hers to be able to serve in the Sanctuary at the eucharist on Sundays. She asked me if I felt she was too old. I assured her it was not about age and after some training she took up that role. She was not only delighted but felt honoured and humbled to be able to undertake that form of service and the beam on her face said more than words could express. I was so happy for her.

Joan had planned her own funeral and was very precise about the order of service and who she wanted to do what. She herself chose the hymns and the reading. I was honoured when Jackie and Yvonne informed me Joan had asked that I undertake the address. Her first choice would undoubtedly have been Fr Martin Ashworth for whom she had a deep respect as a friend, Priest and Pastor; and others who had pre-deceased her.

Even when she knew at the end, after discussion with medics, that her days were numbered Joan faced up to that news bravely. She firmly believed that according to God’s will she would be passing from this world to be reunited with her dear husband Brian and many departed friends and family. She lived in the sure and certain hope presented by our Lord Jesus Christ who through his own death and resurrection has conquered death. Her choice of the closing words of St Luke’s Gospel so ably read by Anne clearly depict Jesus appearing in person to the disciples having risen from the dead and being in human form. Jesus has conquered death as according to the scriptures and he opens the minds of his disciples to understand the scriptures and tasks them to go out into the world and preach the message of repentance and forgiveness of sins once they have been empowered by the Spirit at Pentecost. He then leads the disciples out to Bethany and while he prays, he departs from them and transcends into Heaven. Joan firmly believed the promise of these scriptures.

Jackie and Yvonne who have been like family and great supporters to Joan were with her when she died and said she was content at the time of her death. Death held no fear for Joan. She believed that as in the words of our final hymn Thine be the Glory “Death has lost its sting”.

I know Joan would want to express her thanks to the staff at Elmhurst Short Stay Service in Whitefield, Gorsey Clough Nursing Home in Tottington, and those at Fairfield Hospital who provided care and support for her in her latter days. And, of course, to all her family and friends

Joan was, is and always will be with us in our memories and recollections of her. She certainly lived life in all its fullness. Those memories I’m sure will be treasured. Thank you, Joan for enriching our lives.

In the words of the Nunc Dimmitis “Lord now lettest thou thy servant depart in Peace: according to thy word.”

Amen